DIY Flower Trial

I'm sure you all remember my decision to use silk carnations as my flowers for the wedding and reception. Well my inspiration picture (see below) has been taunting me for weeks now.

I am so in love with the idea of using these as some of my centerpeices, so I finally decided it was time for a "trial run". I went to Michaels's Craft store and bought all my supplies and headed home to figure out this glue gun thingy.

I am not a crafty person (I leave all of that up to my sister) so I wasn't sure how this project was going to end, but I was praying nothing too bad would happen. If I managed to stay away from the emergency room I knew I would be on the right track. I seriously kept imagining burning myself (or Don) with this glue gun. They put so many warnings on the package and I was nearly scared half to death.

After 30 minutes of cutting stems (1/2 of that time Don had to take over because I broke the wire cutting scissors). I told you I wasn't "crafty". It took about 30 minutes for me to meticulously put all the carnations on.......someone with OCD should NEVER attempt these types of projects......I could have been there all day working on this thing. It was finally Don who said "Enough is Enough"........Here is the finished project

It didn't take long for me to realize that the 6" ball that I used was way too big for most of the stands I had purchased. I ran back to Michaels and bought some 5" and 4" spheres and those seem to be the perfect size. I also was able to purchase the white milk glass vases that I've been searching for this weekend. I hit the jackpot at Salvation Army and Goodwill. I still need more, but I will keep searching.

Here is a picture of the 5" ball next to the 6" ball. In addition to the size difference you may also notice that the 5" isn't as "tight" looking. We decided to space the flowers out a bit more so we didn't have to use as many (cost savings).

After making a few trials we finally started to get the hang of this. I think we did about 6 of these and by the last one, we had it down to a science. I knew it would only be a mattered of time before we perfected it. Our only problem now is that I hope we can remember all of our "tricks of the trade" by the time it comes around to making the rest.

We also messed around with some mock set-ups of our reception tables. My pictures are all horrible because I think I was too exhausted by this time, but you get the jist of what we are doing. Black tablecloths, damask table runners, white china with red napkins, and red, black, white accents as centerpieces.

And please don't anyone point out the fact that one of the votives is not in the right spot. Little Miss OCD almost died when I pulled up this photo this morning.... And also please note that the only reason there are so many red carnations on the table is because we ran out of white ones. We were simply trying to get and "idea" of what we were doing. And lastly, don't mind the couch in the background....it was the only open floor space at the time.

You will notice in the pic above that all of the red carnation balls will be in the white milk glass vases and all the white centerpeices will be in clear china.....it looks so awesome in real life!! I'm getting more and more excited every day!

Now, I'm on a mission to find more white milk glass........keep your eyes peeled for me :)

Besties......

One of my best friends happened to be in town last Friday visiting her parents, and so I got the chance to meet her for lunch. I sometimes forget how much I miss her.......but we have that relationship that allows us to jump right back into things as if not a day had gone by that we didn't see each other.

She has been with me through almost everything I've ever experienced in life and she has taught me so much (even though I'm the older, wiser one). Her friendship to me isn't one big thing - it's a million little things.

She is a part of my past, will be beside me on my road to the future and she is my key to sanity in an insane world.

Thank you Lindsey for being the best friend any girl could ask for!

Now enjoy these pictures and remember all of the good times we have shared....Love ya!

Express Yourself....

We have the luxury of having "family" marry us. My fiance's, sister-in-law's, father (are you still following?) is going to be marrying us. He is a wonderful man and I can't wait to meet with him (soon) to go over our ceremony and see what kind of input he has. I also can't wait to start our "marriage classes" with him. Unlike my fiance, I'm looking forward to these classes. I want to learn how to have the best marriage possible. I know the basics of marriage, love and family, but I have so many other unanswered questions. My parents are divorced, my fiance is divorced and I've seen a lot of divorce happen around me and I DON'T WANT TO BECOME A STATISTIC......

I think at this point in our relationship we have a few things that we need to work on during these marriage classes....Actually, probably 2 major things. The first being, we need to learn how to fight. Yes, I do believe there is a proper way and a wrong way to fight. I feel that when we fight I tend to say what needs to be said, I listen to what he has to say, and then I just need some time to take it all in and then I'm wiling to offer my apologies (when needed) or to accept his apologies (when needed). I'm a pretty calm fighter as long as I can have that quiet time afterwards to replay what just happened and come to a conclusion on how to make it better and make sure we resolve the situation in the best way possible. I don't like to fight over the same topic more than once. If we are continually fighting over the same topic then it's obvious that our solution hasn't worked. We need to try harder at finding that middle ground in order to make both of us happy. My fiance, on the other hand, is a terrible fighter. He tends to start arguing about one topic and then decides it's the perfect time to throw in a dozen other issues all at once. So what started as one little disagreement can quickly turn into an all out brawl between us. He also tends to speak before thinking. His mentality is that he wants me to be more hurt or more angry then he is, so he tends to say very hurtful things (whether he means them or not) in the heat of the moment. He always tries to take them back or apologize, but by then the damage has been done and those words he has said to me tend to stay with me for a very long time. This, in turn, causes us more issues because now I'm not only angry but I am so terribly hurt....and as we all know, sometimes the emotional damage caused by someone is the worst kind.

The second issue I hope to touch on in our classes is S-E-X......I will take full blame for this issue. I'm not a very intimate person. My family knows this, my friends know this, but trying to get my fiance to understand this is a whole other story. To be honest, I would like to be more intimate with the one I love, but I fall to pieces whenever the situation arises. I have had some horrible, horrible relationships in my past (which I won't get into) and I think that I have learned to associate sex with these horrible memories I have. I have convinced myself that if someone truly loves me, they should love me for the mental part of me not the physical. And even typing this now it sounds silly to me, but I don't know how to re-train my brain to think otherwise. I've lost a lot of weight recently and my fiance is head over heels with the "new me". He wants to constantly touch me or try to love on me and it really almost makes me ill. If I know that we are going to "get intimate" I get almost physically ill. My stomach ties itself into knots and it takes everything I have to not burst out into tears. It's a horrible feeling and it makes my fiance feel so inadequate. It's not something I choose to have happen, but I don't know how to make it better. I love my fiance with everything I have...I've just learned over the years that this is how I'm supposed to feel. It has been embedded into my brain that sex=horrible things!!! Is this how my life is going to be?..........I want to change.....I NEED to change! Our future together as husband and wife is dependant upon this change.........

***I apologize if this post was TMI...but I needed to get it off my chest

I'm a Happy Girl

I just mentioned to my fiance that my drive to work yesterday morning was intense....I'm not sure what was going on, but I was having deep, deep thoughts the entire time. What was I thinking about? Mostly about how happy I am :) I can't quite put it into words or explain what I'm feeling but I can honestly say that for the first time in my life "I am truly happy". I have everything I could ever want at this point in my life. Sure, I've been "Happy" before, but even when I think about those times, I still remember I was always yearning for something more. I was always wishing for something bigger and better. And for the first time...EVER....I can honestly say that I am not yearning for anything at this moment. I feel so fulfilled and my heart runeth over with love for everyone around me.

I'm eating better which has led to me feeling more healthy and I've lost almost 20 lbs which would make anyone feel better about themselves. I seem to feel more motivated to make the most of my life, to make the most out of each day. I am proud of who I am and what I have to offer. You could say that I feel free....free from the depression and anxiety that used to consume my world....and being free feels so euphoric. It's this freedom that has allowed me to "change". To see how wonderful life can truly be. To relish in the excitement that in less than a year I'm getting married to the most wonderful man I have ever met. To know that life's possibilities are endless!!

I think most of my life has been spent getting caught up in the world of those around me. It was much easier to be happy because they were happy or sad when they were sad. But I never allowed myself to feel what "I" was feeling because their world always seemed so much better than mine. In their world I didn't have to face my own issues. Well, today I'm finally living in my own world.......and it's not too shabby. There is a new house, a big yard, a kitchen full of fiesta ware, and an incredible man to wake up to each morning. My world is Perfect (okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away) How about this...My world is just the way I want it!!

Wanna come to my world and hang out?

Weight Watchers - Week 12

Wow, can you believe that it has been 3 months already? I'm so happy with my progress. This week I lost 2.0 lbs......yahoo!! I know I promised myself last week that I would start tracking my points again, but I didn't. For 2 weeks I have been slacking and it's just not acceptable anymore. Today starts a new week for me and I WILL TRACK MY POINTS, DAILY......

I've declared it to the world so maybe I'll actually get my butt in gear this week.

Total weight loss = 18.4 lbs

Ceremony Issue

I finally took the time last night to work on our ceremony. I had tried doing this a couple weeks ago, but my mind wasn't in the right place so I decided it would be better to put it off....until now!

I am happy with what we came up with, but I am a little worried that it may be longer than what I had anticipated. Since the ceremony is in my parent's yard, we are only seating our family members (and the elderly) and everyone else will be standing around us. I'm just afraid that maybe this is too long for them to stand. I wouldn't be happy as a guest standing in the heat for 20-30 minutes, would you? I don't know what to do.......I guess I will wait and discuss this with our officiant when we meet with him in a couple weeks. I think where I went wrong was thinking that the ceremony would only be about 10 minutes long. What I didn't take into consideration was the time it would take for the processional. I have 5 bridemaids so it will take another 4-5 minutes for the bridal party to make their entrance. Plus, I added a small "family" portion to our ceremony that I hadn't been planning on before.

What to do.......I really don't want to have to rent 100+ more chairs in order to seat everyone, but I guess if I need to then I will. Not to mention that the space where we plan to have the ceremony just isn't quite big enough for that many "seated" guests.

Uurrrggghhhh.......I hate when I don't take all the little details into consideration when I'm planning.

Is it August Or October?

It's a little chilly here in Michigan today.......60 degrees and
W-I-N-D-Y
Oh how I wish I had one of these lovely numbers from J Crew to throw on

Weight Watchers - Week 11

I was all prepared for a "gain" this week considering I pretty much fell off the wagon last week and was happily surprised to see a .4 lb loss.

It was my fiance's birthday Saturday and we had 3-4 days of celebration which didn't involve ANYTHING to help my weight loss. We had cake, strawberry pie, pizza, chinese, cook-outs, wine, beer, liquor, etc.

I think last week I reached a "mental" plateau. I stopped "working the program" and became very relaxed. This relaxed attitude may be because I am "getting comfortable" with the program and stopped tracking points and stopped measuring portion sizes. I think I got to a spot where I felt pretty good about how I look and felt like I could "take it easy" for a few days. I know I am in no position to be taking it easy since I am still 15 lbs away from my goal weight, but I gave in! I also feel like maybe I used people's comments (you look great, OMG how much weight have you lost, etc) to justify some extra food/alcohol intake.

Well, as of today, I am back on the wagon! I will start tracking my daily points again will put the program back to work.

Bring on Week 12......

I'm losing it....

Forewarning....this may turn into the most random post ever!

Do you ever feel like you have SO MUCH going on in your head that you have trouble doing even the simplest things? Like your brain can't stop turning long enough for you to remember how to tie your shoes? My brain is so chuck full of "stuff" lately that I can't seem to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. Today I managed to spell my name wrong.....who does that? I've had the same name for 33 years now and today I couldn't even manage enough brain power to get that right. You would think it was pretty easy A-M-Y.....how hard is that? And it's not just my name that I'm messing up. I feel like I'm screwing up at work, I'm screwing up at home...I just can't focus! I hang up with people after speaking to them on the phone and I can't even remember what we just talked about because the whole time they are talking to me I'm going over about a million things in my head. Even as I'm trying to post this I can't stay focused long enough to make complete sentences (I apologize now for my imperfect grammar if there is any due to this issue).

I'm thinking (hoping) that maybe if I list some of the things that keep revolving in my brain I might feel better. Maybe by seeing it on paper it will make me realize that this is just plain silly. There is nothing on this list that is worth what I have been going through. Don says that I'm even talking about it in my sleep. I've got to clear my brain and stop with this nonsense.

Okay, so here is a short version of some of the things that continuously go around and around in my head:

• Start tanning (I want to start wedding dress shopping soon and I want some color before I do this)
• Buy softener salt
• Fill out the contract for our DJ and get in mail ASAP along with deposit
• Set up appt with rental company to finalize contract (note to self: remember to remove salad plates from rental contract)
• Get oil changed in car
• Clean out car
• Get wire fencing put up out back before dog realizes he can crawl under neighbors fence
• Buy something to get rid of Moles in back yard
• Call officiant and set up appt to discuss ceremony
• Pay bills (note to self: add new bill pay info for refinanced car loan and remove old loan info)
• Add Don to savings account
• Clean out garage
• Record weight watchers points
• Workout
• Drink more water
• Faucet handles in tub need replaced
• Need to get baseboard for basement carpet
• Get groceries
• Put more water in the fridge to get cold
• Buy cat food
• File pets "micro chip" information in home office
• Change federal withholding back to normal on my payroll checks
• Get chicken out of freezer to thaw
• Balance checkbook
• Pluck eyebrows
• Download pictures off my camera
• Update my blog
• Shampoo carpets
• Find out why automatic car starter isn't working
• Take comforter to dry cleaners
• Put additional cat litter box back in spare bedroom
• Give the dog a bath
• Order more checks (note to self: change address on checks)
• Schedule engagement pictures
• Update wedding binder and remove any unnecessary paperwork
• Buy face cream

Breathe Amy....Just breathe!!!

This is just a short glimpse of the list that encompasses my every thought. And this list doesn't even include anything about work.....I won't go there! I've already made a fool of myself so I don't want to make it any worse.

Have I ever told you that I have a mild case of OCD? No? Well, I guess we'll save that post for a rainy day!

Happy Birthday Love...

Happy (belated) Birthday to the most wonderful man I know.

We had quite the birthday weekend. Saturday we got together with some good friends for a night out and Sunday we hosted a cookout for Don's family.

I must say...I'm a wee bit tired this morning after the weekend events.

Weight Watchers - Week 10

Today I reached my 1/2 way mark.......I've lost 16.2 lbs so far and only have 15.8 lbs to go. I'm still so motivated and can only hope that the next 10 weeks go as good as the previous.

I've been really slacking on my exercise and need to get back motivated. It doesn't do any good to lose the pounds if you don't tone your body. It just seems like life is so hectic right now and I can't seem to find the time to dedicate to my workouts.

I try not to get down on myself because even though I'm not working out, I'm still losing the weight, which is why I started Weight Watchers to begin with.

I feel healthy and I look amazing (if I do say so myself) so I'm going to continue with what I'm doing and let things happen as they may.

Bring on Week 11.....

Yahoo....

Went shopping today for dress slacks for work. I'm currently at a point in my weight loss that everything is TOO BIG!!! I have dropped 2 pant sizes since I've started Weight Watchers. It's only been 9 weeks and I've made a huge progress towards my goal weight!

I can't stop smiling....today was a good day!

Flowers, Dress, Veil....Oh My!

Before I begin this post, I would like to apologize...I do not have the source to many of the pictures below. They are from my wedding file I started long before this blog. If anyone knows the source please let me know and I will add

Flowers
Last night I was lucky enough to spend a few hours with my FMIL and we had such a good time. We did nothing but talk wedding for about 3 hours. She gave me some much needed input on my flowers so I was much appreciative. I've decided I'm going to try and do some test runs involving silk carnations and see if I can come up with anything that resembles this.....

Dress
I also got a chance to show her some of the dresses that I am drooling over these days. I was a little worried she may not like my choices, given that I'm going rather casual due to our change in venue. But to my surprise, she was drooling almost as much as me. This dress by Alfred Angelo is still my top contender and my FMIL agrees..

We also took some time to look for a Mother of Groom dress for her and she was having a blast. She found 2 great contenders from Nordstrom's Dress Shop.

J Kara Beaded Dress with Bolero Jacket in Navy/Silver

JS Collections Bead Lace Chiffon Gown in Black/Nude

Veil

I've been in love with this veil ever since I saw it on The Perfect Palette.

And much to my surprise my FMIL loved it too. She thinks it will look fab on me...and I agree!

Wedding Dress Infactuation

I'm not the kind of girl who always dreamed about their wedding dress. To be honest, I haven't thought much about it the entire time I've been engaged....that was until last week. Something about changing our wedding plans, changing the venue, changing the wedding date, etc has somehow caused this major infactuation with them. I spend a majority of my day searching online for "the perfect wedding dress". My style is all over the place. I am love with dresses that I never thought possible. I've found so many dresses that I "love" that I'm starting to get a bit overwhelmed.

I'm hoping to start dress shopping in the next month or so and I wanted to have ideas in advance, but I'm coming to the conclusion that maybe I have "too many" ideas and I won't even be able to explain to the advisor at the wedding boutique what I'm actually looking for.

I guess I need to settle on a few that are my favorites and go from there. A good advisor will be able to pull out a selection based on what I show her, what she thinks looks good on me, and will hopefully take into consideration our wedding theme.

Did any of you guys go through any "infactuations" while wedding planning? Mine started out with centerpieces...I could look at them all day and never tire. Then I moved onto wedding vows...I would read thousands of sample wedding vows trying to decide on the perfect ones. And now I AM INFACTUATED WITH WEDDING DRESSES!!!

Weight Watchers - Week 8 & 9

I forgot to post last week's progress....oops!

Week 8 - Lost 1.2 lbs (no excercise)
Week 9 - Lost 1 lb (no excercise)

I am currently at 15.2 lbs lost and it feels wonderful. Last week I was able to fit into some clothes that I haven't worn in a while and it was great. This week I put on a pair of my dress slacks for work and had to roll the waist because they were so big......I can definitely see some changes in my body and boy oh boy does it make me happy.

My goal for this week are to begin excercising again. The doctor said I had to wait at least 3 weeks after my procedure to start any physical activity and I am finally there. To be honest, I'm looking forward to walking again! It's so relaxing and a great time to clear my mind.

Bring on week 10.......I'm ready!