I just mentioned to my fiance that my drive to work yesterday morning was intense....I'm not sure what was going on, but I was having deep, deep thoughts the entire time. What was I thinking about? Mostly about how happy I am :) I can't quite put it into words or explain what I'm feeling but I can honestly say that for the first time in my life "I am truly happy". I have everything I could ever want at this point in my life. Sure, I've been "Happy" before, but even when I think about those times, I still remember I was always yearning for something more. I was always wishing for something bigger and better. And for the first time...EVER....I can honestly say that I am not yearning for anything at this moment. I feel so fulfilled and my heart runeth over with love for everyone around me.
I'm eating better which has led to me feeling more healthy and I've lost almost 20 lbs which would make anyone feel better about themselves. I seem to feel more motivated to make the most of my life, to make the most out of each day. I am proud of who I am and what I have to offer. You could say that I feel free....free from the depression and anxiety that used to consume my world....and being free feels so euphoric. It's this freedom that has allowed me to "change". To see how wonderful life can truly be. To relish in the excitement that in less than a year I'm getting married to the most wonderful man I have ever met. To know that life's possibilities are endless!!
I think most of my life has been spent getting caught up in the world of those around me. It was much easier to be happy because they were happy or sad when they were sad. But I never allowed myself to feel what "I" was feeling because their world always seemed so much better than mine. In their world I didn't have to face my own issues. Well, today I'm finally living in my own world.......and it's not too shabby. There is a new house, a big yard, a kitchen full of fiesta ware, and an incredible man to wake up to each morning. My world is Perfect (okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away) How about this...My world is just the way I want it!!
Wanna come to my world and hang out?
8 hours ago