Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Make a list and check it twice

The hubby and I sat down the other night and discussed a few home improvement projects.  There is a lot that we want done, but it is hard to prioritize.  I'm not very good at deciphering between a "want" and a "need".  I decided to make a list so we could SEE what we were dealing with. 

As we started looking at the list we realized that item #2 couldn't get done until Item #3 was complete.  And Item #3 could not get done until item #4 was complete.  And on and on it went....we finally realized that there was definitely going to have to be an "order" in which these items were completed.  And the order that we came up with is not one to make me happy.  The first item on our list is the most expensive and I really, really hate big purchases.

Here is the list of things I would like to have done by the end of the year(assuming our finances allow it)

  1. Have central air installed along with a separate furnace for our basement
  2. Build a deck in our backyard
  3. Install sliding glass doors in our dining room to access said deck
  4. Install privacy fence on the one side of our backyard that does not already have it
  5. Replace all the screens in our windows (they are all broke and/or missing)
  6. Replace all the old mulch with new
  7. Paint the laundry room
  8. Paint the master bedroom
  9. Paint one of the spare bedrooms
  10. Install a new front door
  11. New counter tops in kitchen
This is not even the entire list, but only the "high priority" items.  I have a feeling it will be another 3-5 years before our list is completed.  It's a good thing we don't have any plans of moving any time soon!

If only I could win one of those HGTV makeovers.....

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Good Day Sunshine

Today has been the best day I've had in weeks. 

I broke out one of my spring(ish) dresses for work, curled my hair and even applied a little bit of makeup.  I think when you look good, you tend to feel good!

Not to mention, the sun is shining and it is a warm, humid 73 degrees today in West Michigan.

I also think that the much needed sleep I got last night, combined with the fact that I have a vacation day tomorrow is helping to brighten my mood.

There is a possibility that I may make a trip to Ikea tomorrow with my sister in law.  I'm beyond excited.  There is no other store that makes me feel all tingly inside, quite the way Ikea does.

And Saturday (St. Patricks Day) is the surprise party for my husband.  I really hope he doesn't know anything about it.  I have slipped a couple times, but I think I covered up pretty well.

Here's to a great 3-day weekend!!


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Enough Already!

Remember on Friday when I posted this?  Well, I happened to mention in that post that I didn't know how much more I could handle.  Well, the answer is....I can handle MUCH more!!!! 

The overwhelming amount of things that life has thrown in my direction since then, is astonishing.  I've heard you will never be given more than you can handle, but COME ON.....Enough is enough!!

I'm taking a Personal Day on Friday and I'm thinking about just shutting off my phone and locking myself in the basement.  This chick is pushed beyond her limit and I'm leaning over the edge of sanity about to fall off.

I'm trying to focus on the positive things in life, but boy, is it hard!

I'm hoping for a beautiful weekend with nice temperatures and sunshine.  Maybe a little fresh air will do me some good.

Side note:  Care Bear Sunshine was my FAVORITE care bear growing up

Friday, March 9, 2012


That title was me screaming in case you didn't hear me!!

I'm about ready to burst at the seams!  I have had a WEEK FROM HELL!!!  I honestly don't know how much more I could possible handle right now emotionally.

I so wish I could tell you what was going on, but at this time I need to process my emotions before I react.

A possible bitchfest to follow....

Please pray for my sanity and the strength to not kill someone!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

One Year

Sunday, March 18 my husband will be sober ONE YEAR! I can't even begin to put into words how proud I am. It has not always been an easy road, but boy has it been worth it.

I am throwing him a surprise party to celebrate his sobriety anniversary. I'm horrible at surprises so I really hope I can pull this off!

I'm already stressing....

Wish me luck!

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Circus is in Town

On Tuesday evening my husband and I, along with my in-laws, went to the Shrine Circus.  I was so excited.  I went to the circus once when I was younger and loved it, and since I'm totally a kid at heart, I just assumed it would be just as fun and exciting! 

I was so, so wrong!

The doors opened early and we raced inside.  We just had to be the first in line for the elephant ride.  I wasn't in the building a mere 3 minutes when I started feeling an anxiety attack coming on.  The site of that poor elephant was all I could concentrate on.  It was as if the only people in the entire arena were myself, that elephant and the elephants trainer. My mind was racing with horrible images of the life that poor animal must lead.  I read an article years ago about the treatment of circus animals and until that exact moment I had forgotten all about it.

The longer I stood there watching that poor elephant make his way around the circle carrying loads of people on his back, the more my anxiety started to take over.

My mind kept racing back to that article and the images of circus elephants that were beaten, hit, poked, prodded and jabbed with sharp hooks.  It was ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT!

I can sometimes over-analyze things and that is exactly what my husband told me I was doing.  I finally decided it was in my best interest to exit the arena and I spent most of the pre-show in the hallway.

The lights finally dimmed and we took our seats anxiously waiting for the show to start.

The first act was the lions and tigers.  I immediately felt my anxiety level lesson because I have a serious love for tigers.  I actually felt my excitement starting to return.  Sadly though, it was short lived.  As the animals entered the cage and got into position, I happen to notice a woman standing in the darkness on the outside of the cage.  She was hard to see because the spotlights in the cage area were so bright, but we were seated on the ground level right in front and had a perfect view of her. Throughout the act, she continuously kept prodding one of the lions with some sort of long device.  The lion was very unhappy about this and you could tell by his demeanor that he was getting more and more angry.  Throughout the act, this particular animal refused to "do his part".  He did not participate in jumping the hurdles, he did not jump through the ring of fire, and he did not like the trainer being anywhere near him.  Every time the trainer would be within an arms length, this particular lion would reach out and claw at him.  As a result, he would be prodded from behind and whipped by the trainer.

To put it nicely, I was about to lose my shit!!!  I turned to my husband and told him I was leaving....NOW!   I tried to explain to my husband that tigers don't just jump through rings of fire.  They don't just do these tricks because they want to.  They do them because they're afraid of what will happen if they don't.  And as he watched that lion being prodded through most of the act, he began to understand what was making me feel this way.  He did his best to reassure me that those animals would be okay, but this animal loving woman just wasn't having it.

I decided to stay for the remainder of the show, but it wasn't easy.  The entire show I had images swirling around in my head of these animals being confined to cramped and filthy cages.  The  amount of time spent traveling and being continuously chained up.  Having to travel in cages that barely provide room for the animal to turn around.  Those images from that article years ago of the bloody elephants that were jabbed with sharp hooks. The bears that are whacked and prodded with long poles to get them to ride bicycles, balance on balls, and get their picture taken with overly excited children.

I know I probably over-reacted and I know my mind does crazy things when I am in the middle of an anxiety episode, so I apologize.  I can say that other than my anxiety over the mistreatment of the animals, I had a good time.  The trapeze artists, the jugglers, the clowns and acrobats were very enjoyable.

And to be the last act (which coincidentally, was elephants) I was much more calm, my breathing was more regular and my heart was no longer beating out of my chest.  I found that if I concentrated more on taking pictures and only watching the show through the lens of my iPhone, that my anxiety level seemed to remain at an acceptable level.  Maybe this was my way of tricking my brain into believing I was merely watching something on television.  That it was more fictional than reality.  Who knows...the mind is a crazy, crazy thing.

* I apologize if this post offends anyone.  My feelings are MY OWN and I would never want to influence the thoughts of anyone else. 

** I do not have any "facts" to support the mistreatment of circus animals. My feelings are simply a result of an over-active mind and an article I read years ago

*** All pictures are my own...taken with my iPhone