A.K.A. Debbie Downer

I really hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel like I'm overwhelmed with every aspect of my life right now.

I am freshly coming off a 9 day vacation and I don't feel any better today than I did 2 weeks ago.  Is that normal?  Don't most people come back from vacation feeling refreshed and ready to face the world?

I don't feel like thinking long enough to write in paragraphs so you are getting bullet points!

• I'm tired!!!  No matter how much sleep I get....I am still tired!  And not necessarily tired like I need to take a nap, but more like I need to sit down and just relax
• My job sucks!!!  Yes, I am thankful to have a job....but that doesn't mean I can't hate every minute of every day that I am there.  I am over used and under paid and it's taking a toll on me.
• I'm sad!!!  The loss of Walker is still affecting me.  And watching Tucker mope around the house doesn't help!  I wonder if I will ever get rid of the guilt I feel over the whole pill incident.
• I'm broke!!!  Between all of the money we have spent on Lainey and her chiropractor appointments, her acupuncture, the surgery, the trips to the emergency vet, her medications, daycare fees, etc...and then the emergency vet appointments with both cats, the cremation fees, etc...we have spent a huge chunk of money the past 4 months.  It is money that we had (in savings), but nonetheless, it makes me stressed to think about not having that "comfort" just in case we need it.  I can probably bet on the fact that this will probably be the year our furnace will go out...just our luck!
• Christmas!!!  My entire life Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year.  It is a time spent with family and friends, everyone is happy, and Christmas music makes my heart skip a beat!  This year it feels different.  This year it is so stressful.  The holiday is losing it's meaning (not to me, but to others close to me).  I am actually thinking of boycotting and spending Christmas with only my husband. 

I just realized that this list could go on forever and I like you too much to put you through that kind of torture so I will end now!

Actually, here are a couple "happy" pictures from my vacation....that way the blog-o-sphere won't consider me a total Debbie Downer.

Make a list and check it twice

The hubby and I sat down the other night and discussed a few home improvement projects.  There is a lot that we want done, but it is hard to prioritize.  I'm not very good at deciphering between a "want" and a "need".  I decided to make a list so we could SEE what we were dealing with. 

As we started looking at the list we realized that item #2 couldn't get done until Item #3 was complete.  And Item #3 could not get done until item #4 was complete.  And on and on it went....we finally realized that there was definitely going to have to be an "order" in which these items were completed.  And the order that we came up with is not one to make me happy.  The first item on our list is the most expensive and I really, really hate big purchases.

Here is the list of things I would like to have done by the end of the year(assuming our finances allow it)

1. Have central air installed along with a separate furnace for our basement
2. Build a deck in our backyard
3. Install sliding glass doors in our dining room to access said deck
4. Install privacy fence on the one side of our backyard that does not already have it
5. Replace all the screens in our windows (they are all broke and/or missing)
6. Replace all the old mulch with new
7. Paint the laundry room
8. Paint the master bedroom
9. Paint one of the spare bedrooms
10. Install a new front door
11. New counter tops in kitchen

This is not even the entire list, but only the "high priority" items.  I have a feeling it will be another 3-5 years before our list is completed.  It's a good thing we don't have any plans of moving any time soon!

If only I could win one of those HGTV makeovers.....

The small things add up

The husband and I have been making small changes in order to save money on our bills each month. Here is what we have done so far: 

Back in the fall we decided to look into our auto insurance and found that if we simply added the husband to my current account we could save a decent chunk of change......so we did! 

In December we had the gas company come out and install 'water saver' faucets on a few of our sinks, a shower head in my bathroom and a programmable thermostat. This was a free energy saver program through our gas company and was supposed to help us cut down on water usage and save on the amount of gas we were using to heat the water heater and use the furnace.  This was a total failure.  I haven't figured it out yet, but since installing these new features our water bill and gas bill has gone up a significant amount. Failure!

Today we decided to tackle our phone, internet, cable and see what cost savings we could come up with.  By eliminating our home phone (which we have used about 5 times in 2 years) we only needed to price out plans for cable and internet.  After much research we decided to cancel our comcast and go with direct tv.  We are going to save $100/month by this change...Success!

What other small changes could we make?  What have you done to put a few extra bucks in your pocketbook each month?

Mama Needs.....

Yesterday I had a minor meltdown over the wedding and all the details that are falling apart....So, to get me in a better mood I decided to do some internet shopping. Of course, I can't afford to buy ANYTHING right now, but you better believe after the wedding I'm treating myself to a shopping spree!

etsy

Victoria Secret

Forever 21

And last, but not least....Mama needs a new pair of shoes!!

Old Navy

85 days

So we are 85 days from the wedding and to be honest....This is the most stress I think I've ever endured!

One minute I feel like I'm right on track and the next minute I'm fighting severe anxiety knowing that I'm knee deep in shit (pardon my language). I'm in the final stages of the wedding planning process and I can honestly say that this stage IS NOT MY FAVORITE!

A few months back I had that revelation that I think all brides eventually have, where you start to "scale back" and only concentrate on the things that actually matter. But, I still feel like there is so much stuff (and truly I think of it as "stuff") that I'm so worried about.

Whenever I start to question myself I step back, take a deep breath and try to find the "sane" bride that I know is hiding somewhere deep inside.

• What if no one likes the music I picked for the DJ to play? To be honest, my fiance and I like the music and I know my friends like the music so even if we are the only ones on the dance floor it will still be a blast
• What if my dress doesn't fit after alterations? I've lost 30 lbs in the past year, I think if I need to lose 3-5 lbs the last 1.5 months before the wedding I will be fine. I've got the resources and knowledge to do this so calm the F down already
• Are we giving our guests enough choices in the booze department? People like free booze and after enough time passes they will be too loaded to even care
• Are guests going to be upset that there are no chairs for the ceremony? Young people can stand and the older guests get a chair with the family. If you don't like it, plop your butt down on the ground
• What if any of our relatives/guests start "acting up"? We are going to ignore them or ask them to leave
• What if the guests don't like our casual buffet? We are serving food that fiance and I both like and it tastes amazing. Everyone else can swing through McDonald's when they leave.

These are only a few of the items that I battle everyday. In the end, the "sane" bride always pulls through and makes sense of it all, but it's those few moments when I feel like the earth is slowly giving away under my feet that I could do without.

Did any of you "graduate" brides go through this the last few months before the wedding or am I really going insane?

I am in love....

I am in love with a new blog!!!

I don't have much time to do a big post about this so you're going to have to check it out for yourselves.........

Let me introduce Knock Off Wood

If you are anything like me, every month you drool over the new Pottery Barn catalog and dream about the days when you will be able to afford ANYTHING on your wish list. Well, dream no more....this website shares how-to plans to "knock off" those pieces of furniture you fantasize about.

The best part is that Ana shows step-by-step instructions along with diagrams to assist you along the way. I'm fully convinced that I'm going to take on one of these projects (after the wedding, of course)

Ana even has a facebook fan page. Check it out.

My favorite part of the website is the Brag Board. It is here that she features projects from her readers....Knowing that real people like you and me were able to successfully attempt these projects makes me wanna run to the hardware store for supplies.

Here are a few projects from the Brag Board:

Narrow Cabinet w/ Hutch

Hyde Table

Farmhouse Bed w/ Arch

Now go check it out and be inspired!!

Grumpy Pants...

I'm not sure what happened in the past 48 hours, but I have become quite the grump!

It doesn't help that it is 48 degrees outside, dark, rainy and miserable. I am NOT ready for this kind of weather. Fall is a beautiful season here in Michigan, but I'm just not ready. And has anyone realized how early it is getting dark at night and how it is still dark until late in the morning. The time change associated with this time of year just kills me.

In addition to this horrible weather I feel like I haven't seen my fiance in a coons age! It's literally been almost 2 weeks since we have spent one night/day together. Granted, we do live together so at some point in the night we are both sleeping in bed and I wake him every morning before work, but that's been the only "us" time we have had. We are just so busy doing different things during the week and then last weekend I was out of town.....uurrgghhhh! As of right now it looks like Sunday will be the day we can spend some time together. That is until one of us commits to something else......

Weight Watchers is still going great, in leiu of the fact that I gained 1.8 lbs this week after losing almost 4 lbs last week. I'm on this roller coaster for the past 4 weeks and I just wish I could keep losing instead of going up and down, up and down on the scale.

Work is.......well, let's just say that if I don't get a vacation soon I'm going to lose it! And I'm pretty sure that none of us want that to happen!!

Money has become another big stress! We have done so well saving money for the wedding and we should have most of that paid off the first of the year and of course we have cut down on our home improvement projects until after the wedding to save money.......but, Christmas is right around the corner! How did we forget to budget for the holidays??? I just can't even think about it......Where are we going to get the extra money? We are stretched to the max right now with our income and holiday spending IS NOT INCLUDED!!! Will we have to take it out of our savings? Will we have to take it out of our grocery money? Can we skip Christmas this year?

And last but not least........Here's a little story (with a little background history) about something that happened to me last weekend. It's a little reminder that not everyone has class and not everyone understands the true meaning of love..........
As unfortunate as it is, my fiance is in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down, as a result of a car accident a few years ago. But the fact that he is handicapped, does not take away the fact that he is the love of my life. That he treats me better than any person on this earth has ever even attempted to. That he has the most amazing strength and character and I feel blessed to share my life with him. Knowing all of this about him I hope you have the same reaction as I did to what I am about to tell you..........I went back to my hometown this past weekend and had someone come up to me and mention that they heard I was engaged. When I replied that "yes, I'm getting married and I'm so lucky" this person responded with "Lucky, I heard you were marrying a cripple!" Yes, people....you read that right! Someone actually had the audacity to call the man I consider my hero, A CRIPPLE!! I've got to believe that most of us know that you JUST DON'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE but obviously not everyone does.

And on that note.........I must say good-bye! I'm still so angry about the previous story that I can't even think straight or type because my hands are shaking. We will talk again soon....and hopefully I've taken off my grumpy pants by then!