No Regrets

I am one of the few women who never wanted children.  I adore my nephews, but even as a young adult I had no intentions of having any of my own. 

But then I met a handsome fella and we got married, bought a house and joined our 'families'.  He had 2 children already (who were teenagers when we met), but I started to want my own. 

Due to the fact that my husband is a paraplegic and I had had cervical cancer, we decided to see a specialist to discuss our options.  Soon after that appointment, the so-called "urge" was gone, so we decided not to move forward.  I enjoy our life and for many reasons I don't care to discuss here, we cancelled all future doctor appointments and have never really discussed the topic since.

But, every year around Christmas I get a little depressed.  I tend to think of all the things I won't be doing this year.  I won't attend any Christmas programs at school, I won't make anything awesome from Pinterest for my child's teacher, I won't be able to play Santa, and most of all, I can't pass along the Christmas family traditions that I grew up knowing and loving.

I've learned that the best way to cure this feeling is for me to spend some extra special time with all the little ones around me.  I've got a special date with one of my nephews tonight and I can't wait!

I don't regret the decision my husband and I made, but that doesn't mean I can't dream every now and again of what it would be like to some day be called "mommy"!