I'm Disgusted

I'm disgusted....with myself!  I have really let myself go and I'm not happy about it.  But yet, I haven't been unhappy enough to motivate myself to make a change.  It's a twisted circle!

It wasn't until we bought and hung a huge mirror in our bedroom over the weekend that I really was able to see what I had done to myself.  I have known for weeks now that my clothes aren't fitting.  I have been having to pull out bigger sizes from the garage sale bags in the basement, but I couldn't see with my own eyes the damage the past few months have had on my body. 

Another slap in the face was yesterday at the doctor's office.  It was a checkup appointment following a procedure I had done 4 weeks ago and when I stepped on the scales my jaw almost hit the floor.  In just 4 weeks I had gained 8 lbs.

I spent the last 18-20 hours obsessing about my weight and my body image.  I went over and over my weight loss journey and thought about my lifestyle and my food choices during each phase.

In June 2009 when I started Weight Watchers I weighed 157 lbs.  By November 2009 I was down 30 lbs.  During this phase I was what you would call a "die hard".  I journaled every item I consumed and meticulously counted points.  I was so happy with myself and my image.  From February 2010 to about September 2010 I was maintaining at a healthy 132-134 lbs.  I could eat what I wanted as long as I kept my portions right and everything in moderation.  I did not journal and only tracked my points in my head.  I was happy at this weight and still loved the way my clothes fit and how my body looked.

From October-December 2010 I had a lot of personal things going on in my life and I pretty much gave up on myself and gave up on weight watchers.  My weight loss journey no longer played an important role.  Which leads me to today...I am a hot mess!  I am less than 10 lbs away from being back to my heaviest weight.  How did I let this happen?  Don't answer that because I know full well how this happened.

But, it is not important how I got here, it's what am I going to do now that I've arrived.  And what I'm going to do is this:

Set new goals...

1. I have a bathing suit I bought on my honeymoon that I fully intend on wearing this summer
2. I will journal my meals and track points
3. I will "get physical"...even if it's just using my wii workouts until the weather gets nicer
4. I will take healthy snacks/lunches to work and not rely on the vending machine to fulfill my needs
5. I will plan our dinners so there is no need for a fast food run

This is all I have for now, but it is a start.  It is the beginning to my weight loss journey (Part 2).  Any tips and/or advice?

My Happy Place

This happens every year...I'm starting to get the 'winter blues'.  I just haven't felt like myself lately.  I'm gaining weight, I'm so pale, my hair cut sucks, my job is boring, my house is a mess, my Christmas decorations are still sitting in piles in the basement waiting to be organized and put back on the shelves...I'm just all around a little depressed!

I recently had a conversation with my husband about all of this and I told him that I really miss 'laughing'.  I feel like it's been a long time since I've had a really good, eyes watering, gut wrenching laugh.

Well, no more people....I have found my happy place and it's called Tosh.0

Do any of you watch this on comedy central?  It makes me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt and I may or may not have wet myself (just a little) watching it over the weekend. 

Comedian Daniel Tosh gives hilarious commentary on video clips from the internet. <<I just laughed out loud typing this because I was thinking about one of the videos from the show I watched this weekend>>  His humor really pushes the envelope and his punchlines could be seen as racist, sexist or homophobic...but to me it is all in good fun and I don't take any of his jokes too seriously.

So there you have it....Tosh.0 takes me to my happy place and for that I will forever be a Daniel Tosh fan!

Prepare for a Blizzard

Here in west Michigan we are preparing for a blizzard.  I'm not getting too overly concerned as I will believe it when I see it, but I thought "better to be safe than sorry".

I am definitely a bit excited to see what mother nature has in store for us, but I am not excited about my trecherous commute to work.  It normally takes me about 40 mintues to get to work...with a little snow it is usually just over an hour.  I can't imagine what my commute will be like tomorrow (yes, my boss is expecting everyone to make it to work).

Here are some helpful tips and necessary steps that should be taken to prepare for a BLIZZARD!

If your city or town is in imminent danger of a very heavy snowfall or blizzard, most likely your local weather and news media have let you know in plenty of time. They will be issuing warnings and alerts and, again, should be taken seriously. Here are a few things to consider before the blizzard arrives:

1. Prepare for power outages and blocked roads. Winds, ice and snow tend to bring down power lines. Make sure that you have candles, matches or lighters, a battery operated radio, and emergency food supplies and tons of blankets. Think about where you'll put candles to keep them lit and safe. Have plenty of food staples like powdered milk and protein bars. If your water supply depends on an electric pump, bottled water may be a good idea.


2. Staying warm when the power goes out may be a problem. Don't think you're immune if you don't use electricity to heat your home. Many people don't realize that their heating system depends on a boiler that is powered by electricity. Electric stoves and gas stoves that depend on electricity will be powerless if the storm knocks the lines down. Be prepared with alternative heat sources and plenty of blankets.


3. Traveling in a blizzard is just not a good idea. If you are on the road during a blizzard look for a hotel or motel nearby and stay off the road until driving conditions are safe again.


4. If you get stranded in your car during a bad snow storm be prepared with plenty of warm clothes and packaged snack foods. It may seem sensible to leave the engine running to keep warm, but it isn't. The danger of carbon monoxide poisoning is high. Snow can block your exhaust pipe and fill the car with deadly fumes. Keeping one window open just a bit will help avoid this. If you keep the engine running you may run out of gas before the storm is over. A better idea is to run the engine in short bursts. Turn the engine on long to keep the car warm and then turn it off. Keep this routine up until the conditions are stable enough for you to get back on the road.


5. Designate a spot, in the hall closet, to keep a bag of warm clothes for each person in the household. If the lights are out, it will be hard to find that really warm turtle neck or a pair of warm socks or gloves...in the dark. Count on the power being out for at least a day or two and have some board games and a deck of cards on hand. Arts and crafts are always fun for the kids (especially if there isn't any television to distract them) so make sure you have some of those supplies easily available.


6. Along with warm clothes and blankets, consider stocking your Blizzard Kit with the following: batteries, flash lights, battery operated radio/television, bottled water, toilet paper, nonperishable foods such as cereal or crackers, canned goods, a non electric can opener, a small cooler, candles, prescription medicines and any over-the-counter remedies you use regularly; and if you have young infants or toddlers - diapers, baby wipes, formula, baby food.


7. Stock up on shovels and snow removal equipment before the snow storm. You may also want to cover the windows and spaces around the doors to keep drafts at a minimum in the event the heat shuts off.


8. If you live in an area that gets bad storms regularly consider investing in an emergency generator. Having an alternate source of power if the main lines go down can be a life saver.


9. A cellular phone is a 'hot' commodity for the snowbound. If you have a cell phone, make sure it is charged and easy to find. Even if the phone and power lines go out you can get word out that you are stranded and need help.


10. Finally, STAY INSIDE. However tempting it may be for kids to go out and make snow angels or play in the falling snow, use caution. Those blowing winds - both before and after a blizzard - are cold enough to cause frostbite, and snowdrifts may hide dangers children might otherwise see. Stay indoors where it's safe, and warm!


Blizzards are serious business. Weather forecasters can only predict so much. Educate yourself and stay on top of the updates in your area. There is no harm in being overly cautious. In most cases where a blizzard is concerned, it truly is better to be safe than sorry.