I'm having an "off" day. I kind of just feel like an emotional mess (and no, it's not that time of the month).
It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling. It's a little bit of fear, a lot of sadness, and a splash of insecurity.
Summer is coming to an end, which I am okay with, because Fall in Michigan is my 2nd favorite time of the year. But, I am feeling like I didn't really "do" anything this summer. Five years down the road am I going to have any memories of summer 2011?
I feel like I am stuck in a rut. Following the same routine every.single.day!! I have not spent nearly enough time with my family this summer and I haven't seen my girlfriends in months. I know we all get busy and life tends to "take over", but this is not how I want to live. I want time spent with my nephews, shopping trips with my sister and wine shared between girlfriends. I want days spent with my parents and siblings, laughing until our side aches. I want these things so badly, but instead of actually making it happen, I sulk about it.
I'm really good at whining, crying and complaining about all the things that make me unhappy....but horrible at actually "doing something about it".
Case in point: I lost 30 lbs in 2009 and managed to maintain that loss through most of 2010. But, as ashamed as I am to admit it...I have gained back 23 of those pounds I lost. Instead of getting off my butt to do something about it, I decided to eat 2 packs of Nutter Butters and whine about it on my blog.
In general, life is so good right now. The problem, is that I am so concentrated on the things that make me sad, scared and insecure that I am missing out on opportunities to do things that make me happy, fulfilled and secure.
I need to make a change. I need to "stop and smell the roses". I need to learn how to find happiness in the most mundane situations. I need to start...now!
19 hours ago