Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Want some cheese with that whine?

I'm having an "off" day.  I kind of just feel like an emotional mess (and no, it's not that time of the month).

It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling.  It's a little bit of fear, a lot of sadness, and a splash of insecurity. 

Summer is coming to an end, which I am okay with, because Fall in Michigan is my 2nd favorite time of the year.  But, I am feeling like I didn't really "do" anything this summer.  Five years down the road am I going to have any memories of summer 2011? 

I feel like I am stuck in a rut.  Following the same routine every.single.day!!  I have not spent nearly enough time with my family this summer and I haven't seen my girlfriends in months.  I know we all get busy and life tends to "take over", but this is not how I want to live.  I want time spent with my nephews, shopping trips with my sister and wine shared between girlfriends.  I want days spent with my parents and siblings, laughing until our side aches.  I want these things so badly, but instead of actually making it happen, I sulk about it.

I'm really good at whining, crying and complaining about all the things that make me unhappy....but horrible at actually "doing something about it". 

Case in point:  I lost 30 lbs in 2009 and managed to maintain that loss through most of 2010.  But, as ashamed as I am to admit it...I have gained back 23 of those pounds I lost.  Instead of getting off my butt to do something about it, I decided to eat 2 packs of Nutter Butters and whine about it on my blog.

In general, life is so good right now.  The problem, is that I am so concentrated on the things that make me sad, scared and insecure that I am missing out on opportunities to do things that make me happy, fulfilled and secure.

I need to make a change.  I need to "stop and smell the roses".  I need to learn how to find happiness in the most mundane situations.  I need to start...now!

3 comments:

Live to be free said...

You and me both....I read this and could really relate.

KT said...

I'm having an off year, but all we can do is get up the next day and try to make it better than the last day.

elisa said...

I know exactly what you mean!! Hang in there, it will pass. And yes, fall is Michigan is amazing :)