Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Who are you?

Life...it gets in the way sometimes!  There are literally days where I feel like I am having some sort of 'out of body' experience.  I look at myself and am shocked at what I see.  I am not the same person I used to be and it scares me.  What if the fun, outgoing, loving, caring, responsible person I used to be is just a memory?  What if that Amy never comes back?

There is so much that has happened in 2011 that with the start of each month I almost suffer such gut wrenching anxiety wondering what the next 30 days will throw at me.  Hell, I'm scared at what the next 24 hours will throw at me.

I don't like my life right now and I haven't the foggiest idea on how to make any of it better.  At this point I'm simply living day to day.  Which is fine and dandy for the most part, but living day to day doesn't allow you to look into your future.  It doesn't allow you to look ahead and make plans.  It simply allows you enough hours in the day to do what you need to do to survive until you wake the next morning.

This isn't the way I want to live, but it's all I've got right now.

1 comment:

KT said...

I hear ya! Can we just move on to 2012? Maybe that will be a better year!

Hope everything is okay....