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Today is my birthday...35 years old!
I'm having a god-awful rotten day so far. My job is just horrible today...pure chaos! And this girl doesn't do well with chaos! My OCD doesn't allow chaos in my life. So today, at this moment, I feel like my head is going to explode.
On a more positive note....The owner of the company is treating me to lunch and my husband and family are taking me out tonight for a Mexican dinner. I can only assume that the day is going to get better.
And on a more personal note...I feel just awful enjoying my birthday knowing that in 3 days it will be my brothers birthday and he isn't here to enjoy it. I'm still trying to deal with his death and the past couple weeks have been just awful for me. I miss him so much!
So here's to a BIG Happy Birthday to me!!
Judge me if you must, but I love Jersey Shore!!
But have you ever seen Jimmy Fallon's Jersey Floor? I think I enjoy this more than the original show itself!
It is absolutely beautiful outside right now! The sky is cloudy and a little grey off to the west of here, so I imagine rain is on it's way. But feeling the heat of the sun on my skin for the brief moment I was outside is energizing. I didn't think Michigan was ever going to get a day like today! We had a long winter and an even longer start to spring.
I only wish I was at home working in the yard and planting flowers to enjoy such a beautiful day, instead of being stuck in my office behind this computer.
I can only hope this is the start of many more sunny days to come!
Life...it gets in the way sometimes! There are literally days where I feel like I am having some sort of 'out of body' experience. I look at myself and am shocked at what I see. I am not the same person I used to be and it scares me. What if the fun, outgoing, loving, caring, responsible person I used to be is just a memory? What if that Amy never comes back?
There is so much that has happened in 2011 that with the start of each month I almost suffer such gut wrenching anxiety wondering what the next 30 days will throw at me. Hell, I'm scared at what the next 24 hours will throw at me.
I don't like my life right now and I haven't the foggiest idea on how to make any of it better. At this point I'm simply living day to day. Which is fine and dandy for the most part, but living day to day doesn't allow you to look into your future. It doesn't allow you to look ahead and make plans. It simply allows you enough hours in the day to do what you need to do to survive until you wake the next morning.
This isn't the way I want to live, but it's all I've got right now.
