Thursday, June 9, 2011

My brain doesn't let me enjoy anything

I leave for Cabo in 9 days!  And while part of me is so excited, part of me is totally stressing out. 

I have traveled international about a half a dozen times before, but I was always with a group of people.  Never by myself.  And not since there have been all these new restrictions on air travel.  I think if I had taken this trip ten years ago it would be a piece of cake....but somewhere in my "old" age I've developed severe stress about traveling. 

I have always loved flying and feel much safer in a plane than in a car, but for some reason my anxiety level is sky high (pun intended).  What if something happens to me?  What would my husband do?  My parents just lost one of their children 2 months ago how would they survive losing another one?

And it's not only the traveling part that is stressing me out, it's the whole "what am I supposed to pack" part!  I have gained back about 13-15 lbs of the weight I lost last year and at this point NOTHING fits me.  I was silly when I lost the weight and got rid of my "fat" clothes.  Telling myself that I would NEVER be this big again.  Well, ladies and gents, I'm definitely that big again!  I can't justify going out and spending money on summer clothes just for this trip because I definitely don't intend on being this size for much longer.  Ahhhhh....I don't know what to do!

And to pour salt in the wound....the girlfriend I'm going with is t-i-n-y!  It's going to be her skinny a** laying on the beach next to this whale!  Ughhhh....

Can someone please tell my brain to SHUT UP so I can actually relax and try to enjoy this amazing opportunity I have.

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