In a Rut

I've been in a rut the past couple weeks (and maybe longer).  I'm just not HAPPY and feel like I very rarely smile anymore.   

I am missing my family and feeling very distant from my girl friends, which leaves me feeling very lonely. 

I've been at the same job for 9 years and it is starting to feel like the same thing EVERY day.  I am growing tired of my co-workers and I haven't had a raise in years (even though my job duties have grown immensely).  I'm just plain sick and tired of this environment.

I'm overweight (again) and can't seem to get it under control.  I have no clothes that fit me and tend to survive most evenings and weekends in sweatpants.  And nobody, I mean nobody, feels good about their appearance when they are in sweatpants.

I've got so many projects at home that need done, but I can't find the energy to pull myself off the couch on most days.  I do my general house cleaning on Saturday mornings and the rest of the weekend is spent doing nothing productive.

I feel so bad for my dear husband.  He tries his best, but it's hard.  How do you make someone happy when they don't really want to be?  I mean, it's not that I don't want to be happy, but I just don't know what needs to be done to get me there.

I'm hoping this is just a phase!  Maybe when the weather gets nicer I will snap out of it.

Bullets

I've been neglecting to blog lately because I feel like there is either nothing worthwhile to talk about or so much to talk about that I can't begin to put it into words.  So today I've decided to update life using bullet points.

• This upcoming Saturday I'm having Thanksgiving with my in-laws
• Thanksgiving day will be spent with my sister and her family this year as the rest of our family has other priorities
• That same sister turns the big "4-0" on Black Friday..Happy Early Birthday Rachel!
• My hometown highschool football team is playing in the semi-finals this upcoming weekend and if they win they will be competing in the state finals at Ford Field in Detroit the weekend of Thanksgiving.  I am planning on going so I'm praying they win this Saturday
• This past weekend I attended a baby shower of one of my best friends.  I have mixed feelings about the day.  I've come to realize that my "best" friends are failing me...I don't know if we are growing apart, if we lack things in common or I've been naive in who I thought they were.  Either way, it hurts to know life is not the same as it used to be.
• I've gained 13 lbs since my wedding in July and I'm having a terrible time getting motivated to lose it.  I hate the way I look, how my clothes fit, etc, but I can't seem to want to do anything about it.  And worse, the holidays are fast approaching which means lots of BIG meals and baked goods.
• My step-son will be living with us full-time starting in December.  If you remember, he was supposed to move in with us before the new school year started, but my husbands ex-wife changed her mind at the last minute.  As of yesterday she has once again changed her mind...
• I am so burned out on life...especially work.  I have never been so looking forward to some time off.  I will have a long weekend next week for Thanksgiving and hopefully 7-8 days off for Christmas. 
• The time change sucks.  I hate that it is dark out before I even get home from work.
• I'm so ready to decorate for Christmas.  I think we are going to begin bringing out the Christmas decor this weekend.
• As I've stated before...I LOVE Christmas music!  A local radio station began playing it on Monday so I even listen while at work.

There you have it...my life in bullets! 

Weight Watchers

Today I joined Weight Watchers!

My daily point allowance is 21 and after adding up what I ate today it was 26.5! Much better then what I thought it would have been since I didn't initally plan on beginning WW today (spur of the moment decision). I also walked for 30 minutes tonight and I felt great when I was done! IT'S A START.....

Wish me luck!!